spider of death

i take pictures of you
before i kill you
spider of death,
red hourglass
upside down warning
noone will believe

a thousand times squash!
i honor you
on facebook,
poison smeared wall,

mind my creativity,
how quickly fear
can end me,
love won’t save me.


i am for those who will just be in their sufferaging.
those who understand loss of innocence-
a lack of worth. those experiencing
rape, incest, murder, ignorance, war,
and hate, who still love while
they suffer.

i am for those who never forget
and hold me to my words,
as much as it hurts,
i am. for those who cry their deepest darkness,
still holding compassion
still praying
for those who live and die
through darkness,
still deeper.

i am for ones who do not fear authenticity,
who laugh in the dark of night and quietly
sing in the library line or lines of anything,
who speak more for the deaf than the ones hearing,
i seek darkness in forms of
tears and ones forgiving. i feel truth
seeping in the runoffs or ons of sleeping.
still, deeper.

i see mercy in the form of living,
and dreaming.
spinning madly,
passionately deeper,

there you are.



will we go with uncertainty
as quickly as the wind,
or pass serenely over wildflowers
in meadows breathing freedom?
will we be loved as they lie
weeping, hurting until they are taken
or will our leaving break chains
and offer up happiness, a new turn?
will we
lay dying
our last thought a breath
so simple and true?

the glories and wonders
of me and you. 


I used to carry fear in a leather medicine bag around my neck as I would walk in the open dark alone to see the magic of the moon cry for a companion.

Now, I stay inside with many guns, knives, and mace in artificial light with my companion seeing the moon through an inch of blinds.

In the Night

I awoke and felt you
cradled behind me
your long slender frame
so dark and sweet
Your scent holding me
like God holds a universe.

I feel your fingers
travel across my ribs
to cup my breasts,
your grip confident
and breath heavy.

You pull me into you over
and over speaking verses of Rumi
in your grandfather’s tongue
and my love for you takes form
in tears sliding down
my face-
                  I whimper,
Taking you however you come.

red head

I want a red head
Small and quiet
Tight with cream skin
Covered in freckles
Newly blushed lips and
Fragile fingers
A mystery in her smile
untouched but wanting
A mind the size of a universe
A conscience the color of god
I want her faith to be humble
And her ego lost to the wind
I want her eyes to sparkle
Like light on the water
And her feet to be thin.
I want the world to see her
And love her like I will.